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Hope
He put down the phone and stared out of the window. The familiar scene of eucalypt woodlands and the escarpment on the horizon always lifted his spirits. How lucky they were to have a view like this. The house certainly had its problems, with dampness and a western exposure, making it vulnerable to winds and summer heat. But the view was there every day; he and Jan would often stop in their tracks and just enjoy it.
His mind was wandering through these mundane thoughts – he even pondered the fencing that needed to be done – and he realized he was escaping from the news of the phone call.
James was coming home. The respite Jack and Jan had enjoyed was coming to an end. Their dearly loved but problem son was being discharged from the rehabilitation centre, and would be ready to be picked up on Wednesday.
Walking away to find his wife and tell her of the news, he recognized a feeling of optimism which was quietly lurking in his body. Maybe this time it would work. James would finally settle and realize how futile and life-wasting his drug habit had been; and they could be a family again. Have a decent conversation at the dinner table without the stony silences , observing their son, looking for clues in his behaviour; talking about books or the land care projects they had started.
Living on the edge of a national park, they had taken their responsibility for their ten hectares very seriously and while James was at College, he was always up to date with new methods of land care.
Then it all changed. In his final year, James had fallen in love with a girl and the relationship led him into a group of her friends who thought it was ‘cool’ to smoke cannabis. At first, one or two joints at a party seemed innocent enough, but soon he needed more, especially during the stress of the final exams. By the end of the year, James had lost control and found the drugs were paramount to his life.
He was quiet, thin and very pale when they picked him up. Jan hugged him and Jack awkwardly put his arm around his son’s shoulders, murmuring “Welcome back”. There was no response from James. The only words he spoke when arriving home were to indicate he was tired and would go to bed.
Jan could smell the lamb roast slowly cooking in the oven, hoping there may have been a family dinner, but she knew better and refused to allow her disappointment to overwhelm the homecoming. They mustn’t expect too much.
James slept for two days. Again, Jan and Jack faced the dilemma of urging him to get up, or just leaving him. On the third morning, they heard the shower going and James appeared at breakfast, pouring himself a cup of coffee and spreading some toast.
“How do you feel?” his mother asked nervously.“Terrible,” was the quick reply, but he looked at her gave a weak smile.
Jan closed her eyes, so the tears which were building up would not overflow. The last thing this situation needed was outburst of tears. She looked across at Jack and saw him nod his head and smile.This time it was different. James was frightened and fragile. Not denying is problem, as he had previously.
Jack stood up and walked over to the door to pull on his gum boots. He looked at the second pair sitting in the doorway. Somehow he felt they may be used, not today, but maybe tomorrow. He stamped out the door into the cold misty morning, checked the view, and felt better.
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